Bailout Shocker! First the Big Three and Now This

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Just as the White House was wrapping up a deal to bailout the Big Three, another request for money has been put before the Oval Office.  The U.S. Congress, for the first time in history, has been recalled on an emergency basis.

The U.S. Congress, for the first time in history, has been recalled on an emergency basis for a series of crises-management meetings mid to late December.  Due to the sensitivity of the latest request the meetings are being held behind closed doors.  Rumours are abound that failure to act could lead to untold devastation. According to one unidentified witness, Santa Claus, in a surprise visit to Washington, has requested $25 Billion to continue operations through the end of the year.  Several factors were cited as contributing to the financial shortfall, including:   Elves on strike for "GM-like" wages;   Banks' refusal to provide Christmas Eve financing;   Immediate need to relocate manufacturing facility due to climate change;   High atmospheric CO2 levels causing Reindeer respiratory problems;   Smog causing Rudolph's nose to turn gray. "Santa's recovery plan makes a great deal more sense than the Big Threes' business plan" stated one government official not wanting his name on record.  As part of the bailout proposal, Santa will develop and share new technologies for high-efficiency underground housing AND new biofuels / hybrid technology resulting from Santa's redesigned sled. In a related story, outgoing president George W. Bush has stated that allowing Santa Claus free access to American airspace poses a serious terrorist threat to America.  "It is obvious that Santa Claus has nuclear capability and he won't allow (nuclear) Arms inspectors to visit the North Pole. In addition, his refusal to negotiate the transfer of oil exploration rights to American oil companies means that I may have no choice but to declare the North Pole an Axis of Evil.  It would be regrettable if I had to deploy troops to the North Pole to secure America's future."  President-elect Barack Obama had no comment on this issue.